To Defeat My Enemy
by prettykitty473
Summary: ... First I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy's clothes, then-"


_To defeat my enemy..._

* * *

_**I must study my enemy.**_

Every day I watch, meticulously. Observe his actions, make sure I'm on top of whatever he has planned. And, whenever I have the leisure to, I study _him_. The way his lekku bounce around ontop his head whenever he's in the privacy of his base; the way he only has three claws, their true form I have only ever seen once. They're so sharp, so alien; I can certainly understand the gloves.

Yes, his anatomy is quite fascinating, killer alien or not. What's even more rewarding, however, is to see the true him. I've found out over the years that the green humanoid wears a mask, not just for us humans, but for himself. He hides away what he knows is real, covers it up with a pack of lies. There are rare moments, however, that he lets his true emotions slip.

And I'm almost ashamed to witness those moments.

I know he must not realize the camera is hidden where it's at. For there are those rare moments where he lets himself slip, and he _cries_.

It's different from a human crying; it's so much worse.

The pain from his tears _radiate_, and you can hear the hurt through his whimpers.

And that is how I know he doesn't know.

Because a proud creature like him would never let anyone catch him crying, especially his worst enemy.

So I have to act like I know nothing; keep on fighting and bantering, donning a mask myself.

All for the sake of the game.

* * *

_**Then I must become my enemy.**_

October 31st. Forever going down in my mind as the day I entered the worst alternate universe possible. I figured I should make it better this year. I had spent weeks working on my costume, and was ready for the day to come.

I walked into the high school with confidence, happy to _not_ be among the princesses and zombies and ninjas. Of course, everyone stared. Got a few "freak" comments as I walked past, but who am I to care anymore? It's Halloween- the whole holiday was _made_ for freaks. There was one reaction, however, that I was particularly looking forward to.

"What are you wearing?" The look on his face is _priceless_. I could practice it in the mirror and never be able to recreate that look.

"Well, _Zim_, I decided that since aliens _don't exist _or anything, then I'd just have to become one myself." He looks me over, and I can tell that he's impressed. Being who he is, however, there was only one rational way for him to react:

"You got the shirt wrong. The lines need to be thinner. And the third claw isn't that horrifically big, Dib-thing. Honestly, you should've just been a ghost or something. At least your failure would've been covered." The bell rings, and he goes to his seat.

_Happy Halloween to you, too, jerk._

* * *

_**Then I must move in with my enemy.**_

I shuffle over to his door, all pride gone. I knock slowly, the blows echoing through my mind. Pretty soon it opens up.

"What do you want, Stink-beast?" There's hostility in his voice, and I start to rethink this all. What the hell was I doing here?

Clearly he had the same thought. "Well? Not like I don't want to stand here and stare at you all day, but I have some very important 'end the world' business to be taking care of." I wince at the pitch his voice rose to, but still couldn't get myself to speak up. If I did, it'd give away too much emotion.

Maybe he could sense my distress, or maybe he was just tired of standing around. Either way, he opens up the door wider. "Come on in, I guess. Sit down on the couch over there." I walk over to the furniture he pointed to. He follows.

"Geesh, Dib. You're acting like a zombie. Did you try to conjure up the living dead again?" I shake my head, and he cocks his, clearly confused. Slowly he seats himself beside me. "Dib… not that I care, of course, but… what's wrong?" Before I can stop myself, tears slide softly down my face. He looks taken aback. "Dib…?"

"He kicked me out. He said I was a disgrace to society, and that I'm not good enough to be his son. He said… he said I needed to get out… and take my shame with me… and to never return…" I'm sobbing now, everything in me just rushing to get out. "And now… I have nowhere to go, and the… first place I could think of was here… which is so _stupid_, but… nobody knows me like you do… hell, nobody even… _cares_ like you do. I could die… and you'd probably be the… only one at my funeral…" I hiccup and succumb to the tears, not even trying to talk anymore. My face is covered by my hands, and I'm too ashamed to even look at Zim, too ashamed of my enemy seeing me like this.

I am startled out of my self-pity by arms wrapping around me. I am shocked even more when I feel his claw stroking my head. "Shh… it'll be okay. I have no idea how, but everything will be okay, Dib…" At any other time I would've laughed at how new he is to handling emotions. But now isn't exactly a time to laugh. I pull away, not facing him.

"No, it's not okay. Not for me, anyway. But this is your chance, Zim. I'm done. I'm at my most venerable right now. So go ahead and destroy me. Destroy the earth; it's not anything these people don't deserve." I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for a killing blow. When none comes, I turn around to face my foe. "What are you waiting for, Zim?" He gives me this 'the fuck?' look.

"Dib, I have no intentions of killing you right now, not at the state you're in. That would be dishonorable. You have been my greatest enemy for years; you deserve better than that." He sighs, and looks around his base. "And, I guess, if you need a place to stay…" He turns back to me. "I have an extra room upstairs that has been unused since I got here. You're free to have it." I wipe off my face with my sleeve. _What?_ He stares back at me, completely serious.

"Zim… why?" He gets up and looks out his window.

"Like I said earlier, Dib-stink; you're my enemy. You deserve better." He sighs, and I get the feeling that not even he knows why he's offering this to me.

"Well, you better go get your stuff and get moved in before I change my mind." He faces me once more, his signature smirk on his face. I find myself smiling back at him.

"Thanks… Space Boy."

* * *

_**Then I must wear my enemy's clothes.**_

"I can't believe I'm wearing this." My reflection stares back at me, a familiar face in foreign wear. My trenchcoat, my shirt, my pants… gone.

I hear footsteps approaching and start to panic internally. "Dib-thing! I need you to go to th-" He stops suddenly, staring at me from the doorway.

"This isn't what it looks like!" He crosses his arms accusingly.

"Dib… why are you wearing my clothes?" I look back into the mirror, viewing the pink shirt and tight-fitted jeans. I sigh.

"Gir." His eyes grow understanding.

"What'd he do this time?" I whip around.

"I don't even know! One moment I'm in my room about to get dressed, and the next thing you know he jumps in all crazy-like and screams out something about cupcakes before _inhaling _all my clothes! And with no other option, I took some of yours. Which-" I look down, "don't look half-bad on me." He rolls his eyes at my last statement.

"Well, since it's my Sir unit (and my clothes…), I'll help you out. Here." He pulls out a wad of bills from his pocket. _What the…?_

"Where did you get that?" I eye the money suspiciously. He rolls his eyes once more.

"I stole it- duh." My mouth gapes open. "Oh, don't look so surprised. Evil alien, after all. Besides, I was going to ask you to go to the store anyway, so the timing is convenient." He hands the stack to me and walks out, probably heading to his lab. I debate to myself whether or not to actually go. And then I take one last look in the mirror.

I really need to get me my own clothes.

* * *

_**And then what?**_

"Dib-thing, we need to talk." Crap. Those words never mean anything good.

"Um… about what?" He sits down next to me on my bed.

"You. And me. And our enemyhood." I grow confused. _Vague much?_

"What about it, Zim?"

"I think it's time for it to end." He crosses his arms and looks at me as if daring to disagree. Disagree to what, though?

"I'm not sure I'm following you…"

"You have lived here for a while now, Dib. In that time, we have gotten… nicer. You haven't tried to stop me and, admittingly, I haven't given you much to stop. Not because I couldn't, mind you! I've just… become bored with the human race. So, honestly… to still be enemies now would be almost ridiculous…" I hear him, but it takes me a few moments to comprehend him.

"What are you saying?" He closes his eyes and puts a finger to his temple. After a good-sized pause, he addresses me once more.

"I'm saying, Dib, that I want a truce. Even more, I want a friendship. Taking over the world is a boring and lonely gig, and I think it'd be better with someone by my side. Other than Gir, of course. So, I repeat- would you like to be friends?" I blink.

"Are you… are you serious?" He laughs softly.

"Do I ever really joke around? And no, this isn't a 'take over the world' strategy. (Think of that as a perk, though.) Honestly, Dib… I hold you to a higher standard than everyone else. You have always been a worthy opponent, and I think you'd make a great friend. So…?"

Who the hell am I to deny what I've wanted my entire life? "Yeah, Zim. I think I'd like that." I smile at him, and he returns it.

"Good! Now, do you want to do something that friends do?"

"Sure. What?"

"… I was hoping you'd know…" I laugh, and he has the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

"I think I may have an idea…"

* * *

"_**Do I not defeat my enemies when I make them my friends?" ~Abraham Lincoln**_

* * *

_And there you go! The quote isn't completely accurate, but that's on purpose. Besides, I don't think Abe would mind all that much._

_So I think it'd be obvious that I don't own Invader Zim, but the site demands I say it anyway._


End file.
